Make sure to read the first and second posts of this three-part series before you read on below.

I hung up the phone. Well that was easy.

It was Tuesday afternoon. I had just landed myself – and Kirk – a job interview for Tuesday night.

The interview was with an adventure photography company that specializes in outdoorsy photo shoots. Get your photo taken while you kayak, snorkel, surf, hike, horseback ride… or even Segway. They wanted to hire more photographers for the upcoming high season.

This gig could be pretty cool. Paddling around in the ocean, using an underwater housing, seals swimin’ by, surfers ripping it up. Ya. This could be awesome.

We walked up the steps to the second floor office area. Suave-looking Mr. Portrait Photographer in his surfer-esque getup greeted us. I could tell right off the bat that Kirk wasn’t keen on this guy. Kirk doesn’t like spit-shined types.

He interviewed us each separately. He asked me how I would entertain my clients out on the water. Well, shouldn’t the whole kayak thing be entertaining enough? Apparently it wasn’t. He asked if I sang.

“What? No. I’m tone-deaf.”

“Oh come on. I bet you can sing.”

“Haha. No. Definitely not. You don’t want to hear me try. Promise.”

“Come on. You can sing ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat, can’t you?'”

“Uhh…”

“Alright. You’ve got to sing. Ready? How bout this: ‘Rooow‘”

He started off in this ridiculously high falsetto. “You’re really going to make me sing?” I ask.

“Was that too high? Ok, lower. Go ahead.”

For the sake of getting the pain over sooner, I actually sang the first line of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.” And something about a stream.

After a bunch of other killer questions like “What color is your personality?” and “Can you tell jokes?” the interview was over. I did so well that Mr. Photographer invited me to come back on Saturday for part two of the interview process: gettin’ wet.

Saturday: Four other interviewees and I (Kirk didn’t come) went down to the beach separately to speed-shoot a fake client couple running and kissing on the beach. Then we put on wetsuits and used a camera in a housing to shoot each other kayaking into the surf. Lastly, we all (5 of us interviewees, Mr. Photographer, and client couple) kayaked out into the ocean so Mr. Photographer could shoot the fake client couple and show us interviewees how this sh*t is done.

Despite the cold (my feet went numb out in the ocean), the “active” interview was pretty fun. If nothing else, it was a free kayak rental and meet n’ greet session with other fellow photographers my age.

Now, about the job. There was a bit of a drawback. The pay. Yes, but of course. What was the compensation again? $10 an hour. Are you kidding me? You want to pay skilled photographers in the San Diego area $10 an hour? Perfect. That should just about cover GAS to drive to work. Needless to say, despite the fun premise of the position, it just wasn’t worth it.

And as for that Reporter/Photographer job? I did end up going in for an interview. I also found out at said interview that between the time I had first applied for the position (back in November) and now, the specifications of the job had changed. It was no longer a salaried position. The pay was purely commission.

What? This threw me for a loop. I thought I would be writing and taking photos, not selling crap. Turns out that yes, there was still writing and photography, but that stuff wasn’t what I’d be getting paid to do (even though it was required.) The only way to earn my keep was to peddle each business and restaurant I visited a web package. Bottom line: I would be a salesmen.

I didn’t really care for that. If I was going to go cold calling to sell websites to earn 30-70% commission, why wouldn’t I go cold calling on my own, have Kirk make the websites and earn 100% commission? Which begs the question, why in the heck would anyone choose to go door-to-door selling crappy website packages to begin with?

Which reminds me of something else I’d rather not do: sing nursery rhymes to perfect strangers.

A solution must be found for our deteriorating financial situation. I haven’t found a job [that I like]. I can’t completely speak for Kirk, but neither has he.

Alright then. Craigslist? The end has come to searching your jobs section. We are going to begin posting in your services section.

That’s right. We’ll start our own business.

(Pssst. It’s already underway.) ☼